Συζήτηση:MediEvil 2/GA1

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GA Review

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Πρότυπο:Al

Reviewer: ProKro (talk · contribs) 12:43, 10 June 2015 (UTC)

1. Infobox

Check markY All good.

2. Lede

Prose

  • Thanks, corrected JAGUAR  13:41, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "...second instalment in the MediEvil series and a sequel to MediEvil." (The release year of the previous title really isn't neccessary and needlessly breaks the flow.)
  • I agree, changed! JAGUAR  13:41, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "...after the events of the first game, it follows series' protagonist" (Possessive; "series's" also works; use personal preference)
  • Changed to "series'" JAGUAR  13:41, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Oops, corrected JAGUAR  13:41, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Done JAGUAR  13:41, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • That's embarrassing, done JAGUAR  13:41, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – This is somewhat ambiguous as the definition of "success" is vague and success is usually considered timeless; I'd suggested changing it to something like "Development began shortly after the release of the previous title,..." or "Following the positive reception of the first game, Sony..." (Director himself says so in the 4. reference)
  • I've changed it so it sounds like the former JAGUAR  13:41, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "Sony Computer Entertainment commissioned SCE Cambridge Studio" (These are petty, I know, but are agreed MoS)
  • I would prefer the shortened "Sony" in cases like these so it doesn't clutter things up, but I changed it anyway JAGUAR  13:41, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "The original concept for MediEvil 2..." ("Concept of" implies that it already existed at the time (e.g. concept of gravity), whereas "concept for" suggests a future plan or idea)
  • Thanks, I think they had a sequel in mind when they finished the first game but it depended on whether or not it was successful. Anyway, I changed it to "concept for" JAGUAR  13:41, 11 June 2015 (UTC)

Style

  • The reception part of the lead is short and I can't really expand it without repeating or crossing over to WP:JARGON, do you think it would be best to keep the lead to two paragraphs, like its predecessor? JAGUAR  13:41, 11 June 2015 (UTC)

3. Gameplay section

Prose

  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "The interface and gameplay style do not differ much from the previous title." (Tense)
  • Done JAGUAR  13:46, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "In MediEvil 2, player once again takes control of Sir Daniel Fortesque." (On most video game articles "player" is used instead of "players" in single-player titles' articles)
  • I changed to "the player", but I hope this doesn't sound too unencyclopaedic JAGUAR  13:46, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "Close-combat"? I'd suggest using "close range" / "longer-range" -> "long-range" unless you mean to compare the two in which case it should then read "close range x and longer-ranged y".
  • Changed to "close range" JAGUAR  13:46, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – Two ways to go with this. 1. "...forms of weaponry, such as from close range swords and clubs to long-range crossbows or catapults." or 2. "...forms of weaponry such as close range swords or clubs and long-range crossbows or catapults." (Basically, if there is "to" there has to be "from" to form a "from A to Z" span)
  • I changed to the first one, thanks JAGUAR  13:46, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – It contains... (No need to repeat the name; it is clear to what the pronoun is referring.)
  • Changed to "the game" JAGUAR  13:46, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – Is this a new feature? If so, I'd suggest noting that; something like "Dan is also able to tear off his skeletal arm and use it as a club to fight off enemies during the early levels, a skill absent in the previous title." will do.
  • It was present in the first game, so I re-worded it to acknowledge that it was carried over from the first game JAGUAR  13:57, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "...new weapons featured in MediEvil 2 include pistols, shotguns and a Gatling guns." will work. (This implies a list. Unless, of course, these weapons are actually made up of pistols, Gatling guns and other to form some kind of Franken-weapons unique to the game.)
  • Thanks, changed JAGUAR  13:57, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "...Winston to learn new moves or to save the player's progress between (longer?) levels." (Does Dan teach Winston, or does Winston teach Dan? If the latter is the case, use "learn". Also, "between longer levels"; is saving unavailable in/after/during implied shorter levels? If not, I'd suggest removing "longer" completely.)
  • Winston teaches Dan, so I put in "learn" and "longer" as saving can be enabled during longer levels, but only with Winston JAGUAR  13:57, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "It also depletes completely if he drowns or falls from a great height." (Tense)
  • Done JAGUAR  13:57, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "...restarts from the last known save point." (Tense; same as the last one)
  • Done JAGUAR  13:57, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Done JAGUAR  13:57, 11 June 2015 (UTC)

4. Plot section

Prose

  • I thought the use of hyphen is more common? It also adheres to WP:ENGVAR but I can change it if you really want? JAGUAR  14:04, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – ...named Kiya; Dan's future love interest. (Certain future instead of descriptive adjective clause)
  • Done JAGUAR  14:04, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "Dan's shock" (Optional, both are fine; possessive form is more usual nowadays though)
  • Done JAGUAR  14:04, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – Better use "Having discovered a time machine..." or "After discovering a time machine..." (Dangling participle)
  • Changed JAGUAR  14:04, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Thanks, done JAGUAR  14:04, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "However" is unnecessary unless that sentence is supposed to contradict another which it currently doesn't. "Dan manages to turn the demon..." will work.
  • You're right, I have removed "however" JAGUAR  14:04, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Done JAGUAR  14:04, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Done JAGUAR  14:04, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "If the player has collected all the Chalices, Dan and Kiya go for a ride on the time machine which takes them back to the time of the first MediEvil instead." (No comma before which; restrictive clause)
  • Changed JAGUAR  14:04, 11 June 2015 (UTC)

5. Development section

Prose

  • Changed, and also fixed a typo JAGUAR  14:15, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "...in development so, instead, the project was handed over to James Shepherd." or ""...in development so the project was handed over to James Shepherd instead."
  • Changed to the latter JAGUAR  14:15, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Done JAGUAR  14:15, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "Sir Daniel Fortesque would have to free him...", "Sir Daniel Fortesque's objective would be to free him..." or "and have Sir Daniel Fortesque free him..." (Tense)
  • I loved the second one, so I changed it to that JAGUAR  14:15, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • I thought I did something wrong there JAGUAR  14:15, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – SCE Camebridge; or "Cambridge studio" as used previously in the text. (Typo)
  • Oops. Changed to "the Cambridge studio" JAGUAR  14:15, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Done JAGUAR  14:15, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "cut" is redundant here as it is implied that these levels are some of the cut features.
  • You're right, done JAGUAR  14:15, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Link changed JAGUAR  14:15, 11 June 2015 (UTC)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – Just "artificial intelligence". However, if it's referring to computer-controlled characters and their use of game-specific logic, specific to the game, use "NPC logic".
  • I chose NPC logic! JAGUAR  14:15, 11 June 2015 (UTC)

6. Reception section

Prose

  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – I believe this was meant to read "detailed graphics" or "rich, detailed graphics".
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – "new addition of cutscenes" (Single addition as a whole)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – Should be "Game Revolution".
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – frame rate (Also a link would be useful)
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – Use "Sparks also noted similar concerns with confusing level layout."; the second part of the sentence is unnecessary as it is already used in the previous paragraph.
  • Πρότυπο:Xtn – Daily Radar should be italicized and linked; also you might want to change it to "Daily Radar's Stephen Frost"; article's established style used with other mentioned reviewers.

7. References, images, external links and categories

  • External links

Check markY All good.

  • Images

Check markY Rationale(s) provided.
Check markY No copyright issues.

  • Categories

Check markY All good.

  • References

Check markY Inline citations
20px? No dead links
Check markY No bare urls
Check markY Verifable
20px? Reliable

Comments

  • GameTrailers ref. (1.) isn't the footage of gameplay (at least not for me). Maybe a wrong link? I'd suggest using a written source instead of a video; IGN ref. (7.) seems to cover most of it. Simply swap them, it'll do fine.
  • DailyRadar ref. is used to corroborate "MediEvil 2 consist of pistols, shotguns and a Gatling guns." despite it not mentioning any of it; again IGN ref. does so - no biggie.
  • (20px?) Is "MediEvil Boards" (3.) a reliable source for this? Looks like a fan forum; but if it's "legit", I have no objection. If not, we'll need a different reference.
  • In Development section, MediEvil Boards (3.) and GameSpot (4.) references are used to corroborate "Chris Sorrell, who previously served as director of the first game, was not involved in development" despite neither of them mentioning that. They only say James Shepherd is the director; so I'd remove that bit to keep it simple.

8. Review

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors: 16px
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and Manual of Style: 16px
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. Has an appropriate reference section: 16px
    B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary: 16px
    C. No original research: 16px
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects: 16px
    B. Focused: 16px
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias: 16px
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc: 16px
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content: 16px
    B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions: 16px
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail: 15px On hold

Additional comments

Just a couple of suggestions, these are all optional:

  • Predecessor, first game, previous game, previous instalment and previous title are all interchangeable so I'd suggest using one or two and sticking with them all through the article.
  • Are there any verifiable sales figures you could throw in? They would make for a nice addition.
  • There is only a handful of references so I'd suggest archiving the URLs to prevent link rot.

Overall: Article is concise and focused, albeit riddled with minor errors like typos and phrasing. Text is easy to read, it is interesting and engaging. References are few but mostly verifiable; only one is dubious at the moment.

In my opinion – this is an easy pass. Minor cleanup and rephrasing and the article's good-to-go. I'd also like to apologize in advance for any typos of my own as I typed this out pretty quickly. That's it. If you have any questions, feel free to ask away. I'll be sure to give it a look asap. ProKro (talk) 12:43, 10 June 2015 (UTC)

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